Naptime wishes

Dear Little Dude,

I have always loved nap times with you. Once you got on a schedule where you napped at a certain time and for a good chunk of time I began to relish rocking you to sleep. At first you took a bottle and you would fall asleep eating and then I would put you down. Then later, you weaned yourself from a bottle and I would just rock you. That is until about 3 weeks ago. You have started to realize that if you talk to me and point things out in the room that you could destract me enough that nap time would be put off- in short you stopped letting me rock you to sleep. After a while of sitting in my lap you would point to your crib and say, "pease". (please) So I would kiss your sweet head and place you in your crib. The first week this happened my heart hurt..I kept thinking,"is my little boy to big to be rocked anymore? Did I not cherish and appreciate rocking him enough and now he is putting himself to sleep?" But, then yesterday (Monday), I don't think you were feeling well (allergies) and you fell asleep while I rocked you. I held you for the longest time, just listening to you breathe and singing to you all the primary hymns that we sing together. You twitched several times and sighed once or twice, and I was completely content. I would not have traded those moments for anything. Then today you were pretty tired. We played outside all morning and even though you protested heartily coming inside and having to take off your boots, you came inside with me and ate some yogurt and then again, you let me rock you to sleep. Since Daddy puts you to sleep at night so that he can spend some sweet time with you too I cherish nap time, and even more so now that rocking you to sleep might not last forever. I never even thought that you might not want to be rocked to sleep...I guess I never realized that you would grow up, and yet you are growing every day. And every day a piece of my heart wants to say to you, "Stop growing this instant and stay exactly the way you are." But if I did that then I might never be ready for you to grow up. So, I guess growing pains are not only for childhood, but they continue into motherhood, and they are not always so pleasant. I love you little boy. So, my nap time wish for today and a little while longer is that you let me rock you to sleep for a time longer, or I might have to trade Daddy some bedtime rockings.

Sweet dreams,
Mom